In my case social anxiety symptoms
were a result of my speech problem, not the cause. With social anxiety the most
common fears are interaction with strangers, any kind of public speaking, or
that we will be publicly judged, rejected, humiliated or embarrassed. It lends
itself to vocal problems that may show up in the form of a shaky or
nervous-sounding voice, a voice that cracks, rapid speech, a dry throat, a
stammer, stutter, or muteness. It is not unusual for any of us to occasionally
experience any of these symptoms, but if they become a pattern, we need to seek
help from a doctor or therapist. In order to begin treating it, though, it is
essential to understand if the symptoms are due to something wrong with the
voice, or if something is wrong with the voice due to a social anxiety.
The work place is where I have seen
people suffer the most from social anxiety. Two people I have worked
with come to mind. One lovely young woman is a teacher. She is excellent at her
job where she works with special needs children. Although some might view her
job as stressful, she seems very relaxed in the classroom. She appears to be
comfortable in most situations outside of the classroom too. However, if she is
asked to speak to a group of adults or is placed in a position of
authority amongst adults it is almost impossible to hear her. Her voice becomes
so quiet that it sounds like it is almost gone.
Another very artistic young person
I know is a joy to be around. I always feel very relaxed when I am with her and
I usually find myself complimenting her on whatever she is wearing because of
her creative flair. On the surface she looks like someone who has a lot of confidence.
However, if she is asked to say anything in a large public venue or to a group,
her throat gets so dry that she can’t speak at all.
Sadly, children also suffer from
social anxiety. One I know is a darling and very bright four-year old boy. When
he is at home with his family he is constantly talking. In this environment he
is active and normal for his age in every way. However, at school and out in
the world when he is with strangers, he becomes mute. His parents had worried
that something was wrong with their son’s speech but this little boy can speak
very well when he is emotionally at ease. He suffers from a form of social
anxiety called Selective Mutism. It occurs when someone who is capable of
speaking is unable to do so, but only in certain situations and/or with certain
people. Adults and children both suffer from this, but one of the big concerns
about Selective Mutism with children is that it can and often does impede their
academic growth.
Like stress, social anxiety is
brought on when we think we are in danger. However, stress is a response to a
particular thing or situation and goes away when the stressor is gone. Anxiety
doesn’t. Social anxiety might be based on a bad experience or come from our
imagination. In either case, the stressor can be long gone but someone with
this condition will still be suffering from it. When I thought I might have
social anxiety I had to learn how to handle it. Here are some of the things
that helped.
Exercise definitely helps to ward off anxiety. Even
though my symptoms of social anxiety were due to a speech disability, exercise
helped me to calm down and make my ability to speak a little easier. Since
social anxiety plays with the head as much as the body, find an exercise that
gets you going like jogging, cycling, hiking, walking, or even gardening. It
will greatly help you to naturally relax, sleep better, and distract you from
whatever causes your problem.
Relaxation techniques like a yoga class can be
greatly beneficial. Just like a meditation, anything that attempts to slow you
down and helps you to breathe more easily will calm you and relieve anxieties.
Too much caffeine, sugar and alcohol can increase
anxiety. This is also true for any kind of drug and/or supplement, including
herbs and vitamins. Always check with your doctor if you are using any kind of
substance regularly. You may want to cut these out entirely and overhaul your
diet. This alone can make an enormous difference in your overall health.
Some severe social anxiety does
require seeing a therapist and/or taking medication. Since the main problem
concerns other people, the best type of therapy is in a group setting. However,
if you work on improving the basics like diet, sleep and exercise, you may be
able to manage and eventually remove this condition from your life in your own
way and time.
One of my favorite things is what I
call decompression. I rarely have bright lights or loud music on because I find
them to be over-stimulating and stressful. Similarly, if you’re feeling
anxious, don’t watch a scary movie, action film, or listen to any kind of angry
music. Instead, find something that soothes you. Watch a film that is light and
funny, or occupy yourself with a creative outlet that you enjoy, like painting
or writing. Creating a journal about your anxiety might help you to come to
grips with it better too.
Although social anxiety can create
speech problems, we can learn to control and even get rid of it. I actually
think of social and other anxieties as bad habits, like anything we
unconsciously adopt. But bad habits should be broken. I believe the best way to
start is by accepting it. We need to recognize that social anxiety wears down a
person’s confidence so our job is to build ourselves back up. This means being
kind to ourselves and to others who may be suffering from this condition, and
not being hard on ourselves if a social situation or someone throws us off.
It’s important to move on and focus on our good points. Then, hopefully, as
easily as the social anxiety came into our lives, we’ll notice one day that it
has suddenly rolled off our back and is simply gone.
